A Week or Two in Review

The past couple of weeks have been... eventful. I haven't had the time to write in here for quite some time now! I made contact with the spirit, whose name is Aedan. From what I could learn before I fainted from keeping the ritual to see him powered, he is a middle aged man who worked for the Scarlet Crusade as their librarian. He wished to tell me that he is keeping himself there because he doesn't want to cross over until he has done one good thing in the face of all the atrocities he has witnessed and/or committed. The Bishop is behind me on this, and wants me to help the man. Needless to say, I was rather sore after the ritual as it required much holy power to keep active.

A few days later, Sister Ruvias came by and she started to teach me the shielding spell she had promised to. Painful though it was, I managed to make a semblance of one over the target... a giant stuffed bear. I hope to continue practicing soon, though after my hand recovers from the burns.

The worst part though, happened a night ago. Kruega and I were talking and another tauren came up and started talking about strange things. He then started to get very angry, and wheeled about and called me Scourge... and then everything went downhill from there. He moved to attack me, but Kruega defended me as best he could. I was struck in the jaw, and my leg had been broken before my friend had to dispatch the addled man. It turns out, that Kruega had to kill his mentor that day. If he was taught by that tauren, then clearly he was not in his right mind when he attacked me. Kruega is too noble to have been taught otherwise.

Both he and Annjia (once I told her about it) feel awful that they could not prevent the harm that came to me. I told them both they shouldn't be mad... I felt no pain when the man struck me, and the man is unfortunately dead. Kruega told me he felt as though he had failed me, and Annjia became angry herself at not being there. I did not mean to raise their ire by getting involved...

Regardless, I pray the Light watches over that tauren. He was not in his right mind, and I forgive him for the assault. May he have the eternal rest he deserves, not the damnation his recent events would entail.

Doesn't That Hurt You?

This is the question I always hear when I tell someone that I use the Light to heal others. It's normally followed up with some comment about how strong or stupid I am, for using a power that hurts myself. I am rarely asked why I do this though. Most are content to be healed and be on their way. I don't mind this, sometimes healing can be a thankless job.

Why? Because there is a feeling, an addicting one, in knowing that an injured man or woman can return home to their family and friends to enjoy them another day and to spare those people of the loss of their loved ones. That alone is worth bearing the pains of channeling the Light. And as dark as it is to say this, I have endured suffering before. More than most people have, I imagine. And if a man has broken his leg and suffers from the pain, then I will bear his burden instead through the Light. For I personally feel that I am better equipped to endure such pains.

Unlike the Bishop and other undead that I have met who act as beacons of Light, it physically burns me. For most it feels as though it were the case. I often wonder what will happen when there comes a day when a wound is too great, or too the gashes and pains become so numerous that I might die from healing so many people. I do not know what would happen or what I would do.

Please, if someone ever reads this, do not take these passages as a martyr's plea for help, or as some sadistic self-agrad aggrandizing of my gift from the Light. I only wish for others to know why I would their health before my own.

Brief Vacation

Tonight I was visited by Annjia again. I had given her a book previously, and she has yet to return it. Both she and her 'beloved' (as she always calls him) are enjoying it. This is always good news and they can take all the time they need to finish it. During her visit, Kruega stopped by. He had been in the plaguelands training himself with his skills as a Sunwalker. He said that he was going to be attending a lesson, and wished to attune himself to An'she (the tauren sun deity, I believe) further. I bade him to take my prayer beads, in hopes that the Light would shine favorably upon him later that night.

Which was strange, because I had resolved to deal with something that would require them. There has been a spirit moving books around since I've started working in the abbey's library. I wish to commune with them, and I realized moments after promising the beads to Kruega that I would need them! I had also said this aloud before to Annjia, that I had resolved to speak with it... so I decided I would leave, in case it had heard me and would try anything.

I'm not an expert in spirits or ghosts or hauntings, so I'm hoping I made the right decision.

P.S. I got a letter from Kruega when I arrived in Orgrimmar. The beads did bring him luck!

Far Cry From Before

This past week has been absolutely wonderful! I knew that once the Bishop and those that were with him returned, things would start looking up. My friend Kruega happened by when I thought he was banned from visiting. He's a proud Sunwalker, and we discussed the Light in tandem with his deity the Earth Mother. He's a gentle, caring sort... he carries a shield with him as well. I couldn't think of anyone more suited to defend others.

Annjia has been a frequent visitor to Tyr's Hand as well. I won't go on about what we speak of (because that would be terribly rude of me!), but she is always welcome. Someone that she cares for was sick for a while, but now they're doing better. It's so nice to see her happy. She even requested a few books from the library to take home, which I readily obliged.

I returned to Orgrimmar yesterday just to see if I could find some people I knew, and to my surprise just about all of them found me instead! The feeling is indescribable... I feel so blessed to know all of them, and to know of the comfort and confidence they all give me. It's a far cry from so many months ago. A time when I would be depressed at a moment's notice. A farther cry from when I had first re-awoken. A time when I thought myself a monster, scorned by all.

But it's not good to dwell too long on such dark thoughts. My last piece of good news for the day is that I'll be training under Confessor Ruvias soon! When the town was under siege, she used a shielding spell and she promised to teach it to me. I hope it won't be too taxing on myself! I mean, if I can shield others, then I won't have to heal them because they simply won't get hit! Right?

The Return

Late last night, I was blessed to see the return of the Bishop and the rest of the Gauntlet whom he took with. I can't describe how wonderful it is to have them all back and to know that they're all safe!

There are a few who did not return. Sir Barmand, the man who kept watch over my door when I had locked myself in during the attacks, has taken a leave of absence. Miss Earthbreaker, an Earthen Ring ambassador, has decided to stay in Nagrand for a while. I do not blame her in the least, I hear it is very beautiful. And Commander Verrus has resigned. I'm sad to see him go, he is a very kind man and he is strong in the Light. Wherever he goes next, I pray he is graced by fortune and love, and I hope he can continue the good works that he had started here, elsewhere.

I really cannot go into detail about how joyous it is to have everyone else here. Perhaps now things get settle down to normal... well, normal for life in the plaguelands anyway.

Home Again

It has been an interesting day today. I received another dress from a good friend named Beau and Annjia told me that her beloved is recovering! I'll still continue to pray for the both of them, since I'm told he still has a long road to recovery.

The Sunwalker who calls himself Core accompanied me on the journey back to Tyr's Hand. He's a good-natured sort, and has a wonderful family. I've had the privilege of meeting his mate and child before. When we got to the western plaguelands it soon began to rain. It was perfect... I always love it when it rains in the area near Tyr's. It's like a rain of mercy on the tortured land. We both rode on through the rain and arrived home swiftly.

From there I gave him the standard tour, save for the chapel and the cathedral, since I cannot set foot in those places yet. He seemed at least a little impressed by what the Gauntlet has been tasked with protecting. He wanted to meet the Bishop... but of course he has not returned yet. I can still hear the rain against the stained glass windowpanes. This weather will certainly make washing the windows easier.

Relieved, with Gifts

My previous entry was made in haste. Everything's worked out in that regard, and Miss Springbolt and I have buried the hatchet on the subject. I really should be getting back to Tyr's Hand soon. Something tells me that the abbey's gotten all muddy and dusty with all that foot traffic from the group that's taken to using it as a meeting place.

Over the past week, I've received several gifts. Most of them were dresses. I always feel so strange about getting gifts nowadays... I keep thinking to myself that the money could have been better spent elsewhere. I've a few good robes that I keep well mended. I don't need them, but eventually I'm coaxed into accepting them. I suppose it's nice to have something fancy to wear in case of some event like that dinner party. Don't worry, I thanked everyone profusely!

But perhaps the best gift I've received are my friends. Each and every one I care for, and in turn they care for me. I've had several volunteer themselves to aid me whenever I would need their help, just as I would do the same for them. It's funny... how people that I was raised to fear are suddenly some of the closest friends I have. For each and every one of them I say a prayer in the morning and at night. Even in my... darker moments when I feel down, they cheer me up. There was a time when I thought I was incapable of making friends...  I'm glad that time is passed.

I am truly blessed.

Horrible Mistake

A friend of mine came to me late this evening, and said that she had learned a few new spells. They affected the mind, she told me. At first, I told her to be careful with such powers. She then said that she was working with the Forsaken, helping resurrect more people into the Queens ranks. This... frightened me. That she said such a thing so casually. She also said that she was learning her mind magic from them. That didn't help at all.

I left, and I pushed her away when she tried to apologize for offending me, when she didn't know. I was stubborn and I didn't let her. She left, and after realizing my mistake I sent her a letter. The letter I received chilled me. "I've been working with the Forsaken for some time now. I'm learning shadow magic from them now. I'm sorry."

Did my fear drive her to make that decision? Is my stubbornness to blame? I feel horrible. I wish I could explain how I feel about the subject of Shadow and the controlling of someone's mind on these pages... but I can't sort it out in my head to even begin. I'm so sorry, Krixxi. I didn't mean to thrust you from the Light.

Disappointed

As it turns out, the party was cancelled. All I was told was that 'something had happened'. I do hope everyone's alright. At first I was a little miffed, but I cannot fault them for cancelling the event when something unfortunate might have happened. I sent a letter with my well wishes for them. Though I suddenly understand the phrase "all dressed up and nowhere to go" now.

I was also asked to pray for someone very dear to my friend  sister, Annjia. She calls him her beloved, and she speaks very highly of him on the occasions she actually talks about him. I'll pray until my knees lock up and I cannot stand from kneeling. If he makes her happy, then it's the least I can do to perform this request. 

Invitation

A day ago I received a dinner invitation. I'll be honest, I don't know what will happen at the event. For the most part I was concerned about offending the host of the party by not being able to partake of the food offered... I mean that's what a dinner party is about, right? I've heard of nobles hosting such parties, and they'd be the talk of the town the day after.

Which then brought me to what I should wear. I don't have much for money, and what little clothing I own is patched and threadbare. I don't want to wear the formal vestments that the Bishop gave me... that would probably be overdressing and I would hate to get them stained by something. The answer to this dilemma was delivered by mail. Annjia sent me three different dresses! They look awfully expensive too, I will have to thank her when I see her next. They all seem to be of Gilnean make, and I've chosen to wear a burgundy red one. I showed it off to a few friends and they said it looked good. Well, I still have to hem the length and the waist a fair bit for it to fit me properly.

Showing off new dresses... it seems so odd!

I'm still having second thoughts about going to this party... but I did make a promise to the host that I would be more social. And I really don't want to go back on my word. Plus, Annjia did go and send me those dresses too. I don't want to let her down either. I'll do my best to enjoy myself.

Weight off my Mind

Annjia has returned! I was outside gathering kindling for the braziers on either side of the abbey's door when she arrived in Tyr's Hand. We only talked for a little while... I told her all about my Midsummer experiences this year. I'm worried though, even now that she has returned. She was shivering. But her journey seemed to be eventful, and I offered to be there for her. She's been a shoulder I've leaned upon many times and it is definitely about time I started repaying that.

I was feeling a little worn out from sweeping the abbey floor, but when Annjia came back I was reinvigorated to continue working. I even managed to wash the windows on the first floor before night fell. With the majority of the chores done, I'll be looking into speaking with the library's ghostly inhabitant soon. They haven't moved anything today, but I'll double check before I sleep  try to meditate for the evening.

Little Nunuru, my cat, seems to be chasing a mouse around the abbey right now... I better take care of that before they knock down candle holders!

Back Home

Today, I saw a good friend of mine named Tazza. He is an enormous troll. And by that, I mean he must be four feet taller than me. We conversed for a time. His mate seems to be having emotional troubles, and he's hard pressed to take care of them. I offered to help just in case. Before I left though, he said something that made my day... possibly even my week.

"The world needs more people like you. You're a role model."

I nearly fainted from giddyness. I had never been called such before!

I returned home to Tyr's Hand later tonight and already I miss my friends in Orgrimmar, but maybe they will come by? Arbiter Muraco and Sir Drahkain were at the fountain in the center of town and they said that it was quiet since I had left. I feel bad that I didn't stay to celebrate Midsummer there, even if the bonfire would have been a meager one.

As I sit here writing this, I realize I've a lot to do tomorrow. In my absence the floors have gotten dusty. The braziers outside will have to be refilled with wood, as they have burned their fuel to absolute ashes. And... I'll have to go back and put all of the books back in order. Yes, while the two knights told me everything had been quiet, someone's been moving the tomes of the library I've been charged to curate.I'm not surprised, it's been going on for as long as I've been here.

I'm beginning to think it wants to tell me something. It has always been gentle about moving things around, never hurling a book at me or igniting bookshelves or anything. Maybe it has a better idea about how to organize the books? Not that I wouldn't mind. Sir Drahkain and Arbiter Muraco joked a little on the subject before I returned to my quarters, saying things like, "Maybe it likes you?". I'll admit, it would be very strange if the spirit were to take an interest like that (no offense if you happen to be reading this over my shoulder!). For now though, I'm just happy to be back in my nice, quiet home. I'll see about contacting him or her when I've completed my duties tomorrow.

Light bless and protect the Bishop's group in Draenor, and Annjia, wherever she may be.

Lazy Nights

It's been a while since I've had time to just do nothing. While I do enjoy helping keep the abbey of Tyr's Hand pristine and spotless, a little time off is a nice break from routine. With Midsummer finished, I should start thinking about heading back. I imagine the floor is rather dusty and the windows need cleaning. Not to mention the ghost that lives in the library who keeps moving things around...

I don't think it's a malevolent spirit. That's all it has done so far is put books on different shelves. The previous owner must still be connected to that place... which means they are a Scarlet Crusader. I'll have to ask the Bishop about contacting this spirit. As it stands, I don't think it bears any ill will towards me, but it's better to be safe than sorry. The idea keeps fleeing my mind though, it has just become a normal part of living in the abbey for me.

Then, I had the pleasure of speaking with Kruega again. His entire tribe had gone on a sort of camping trip in the Barrens, and he had come to Orgrimmar after. We talked about Midsummer, and I told him of Stratholme's celebrations. He really liked when I showed him Hearthglen, and I wish I could have shown him eastern Lordaeron before it became the place it is today. Though... I'm not sure a tauren would much like Stratholme, what with the streets being somewhat cramped and the doorways being too small.

Then there was Krixxi Springbolts. She's a young goblin who is training in the ways of the Light, just like myself. I was... I'll admit, I was eavesdropping on conversations when I heard that she was looking for her father who worked with the Argents. I offered to help look for him, since I'll be returning to the plaguelands soon and Hearthglen is on the way. I could inquire as to his whereabouts there. She wishes to help with the plaguelands as well, and I do hope she is accepted by the Argent Crusade. Perhaps she will be assigned to Tyr's Hand?

As always, I pray for those who are pursuing the dark demon across the Outland, and for Annjia on her journey. May the Light protect them all, and give them solace in their dark hours.

The Unnamed Elder

In Orgrimmar today I met a very old, very gruff orc. His movements were stiff and his skin was stretched thin over his face and body from what I could see. He did not seem to like me much at first. Then we got to talking. He referenced his scars... especially the one over his eye. He told me it was from when the Scourge invaded Kalimdor briefly. I was not awake for this, so he told me a very grim tale of how he obtained the scar. It still looked infected, so I volunteered to mend it. I knew it wouldn't take the scar away, but I thought maybe it would at the least cleanse the infection.

He refused. I told him that I would call upon the Light to try and heal him, and he said that he didn't know of this "Light spirit" and did not wish to be mended. Said it would be a dishonor to his traditions. All I could do for the remaining minutes I spent in his company was stare at that festering scar, knowing that it came from a servant of a man whom I once called Prince...

One that I would have been proud to call King, before everything happened.

I had to dismiss myself. I wanted to rise up, cast that foulness out of his wound and be done with it. No doubt it would have caused me great pain, not just from calling upon the Light, but from an angry orc that suddenly felt dishonored. I hope time softens his heart to the idea. I mean, I only wanted to try.

Out of Sight...

But never out of mind. Even as the Midsummer festival goes into full swing, I make sure I have time for my morning and evening prayers. They're for my friends, and those who I consider family. Day and night I ask the Light to protect and guide the Bishop and the rest of the Gauntlet who have gone out to stop the demon that had been tormenting us. And every day I pray that Annjia is safe... in whichever dark places her journey must take her.

I've made a few new friends here in Orgrimmar, one in particular who is very nice, but I'm very confused about. Perhaps if I see her again today I'll write more about this.

Midsummers Past

I arrived in Orgrimmar a couple days ago. I didn't realize how long I've spent cooped up in Tyr's Hand until I saw the Midsummer wreaths. I went to sit at the edge of the pond in the Valley of Wisdom and I saw the candles floating on the water...

And in an instant I was brought back to my childhood. Those late summer nights were spent running wild through the streets with my friends throwing those Midsummer petals at each other... getting caught up in the chase with that delirious smell of smoke and flowers. Right when the sun went down, you could go and buy a candle to float on the water. All those little lights in the moat in front of Stratholme were like the stars that would come out minutes later. And then the fireflies would come out and everyone would try to capture a few. Not to mention the bonfire, and all the blossoms hung around the city.

Seems a far cry from what's being done here. A few candles here and there and wreaths. Sure, there's a big bonfire but there isn't that sense of community. Everyone speaks more about going to extinguish the flames the Alliance has built. I don't understand what's so fun about denying people the same kind of enjoyment that I had so long ago.

I look forward to having new memories of this year's Midsummer Festival. Maybe this year will rival the ones of old?

Farewell, Sister.

I cannot convey how concerned I am for her. She's the only family I've got left, even though we aren't really related. She's lost someone dear to her... and I know how that feels. She's leaving to go and find him, wherever he may be. I'm torn about whether I should support her, but I will wait and see what happens.

What with the Bishop's group gone, and now my sister... I'm rapidly losing the people I care about. What a way to start these pages.

Lighten-ing

Today I did what I usually do. I did my chores around the abbey. I even played with my cat for a while until he got exhausted. I figured since the Plaguelands have lightened somewhat I would go outside. This turned out to be a bad idea.

Roeth, a former scourgelord, decided to visit Tyr's Hand. To say that he frightens me is an understatement and we have met before when the Gauntlet had been sent to Northrend, as allies. Sir Drahkain also happened by and a quarrel ensued as Roeth continued to mock the people I cared for, who still happen to be missing. He called them, and myself hypocrites and generally poor company for the Bishop.  I restrained myself from yelling at him... even if I did yell, it probably wouldn't have done anything. Eventually I asked his forgiveness, as he said that he has 'grown tired' of us here.

I retreated back to the abbey and Sir Drahkain soon followed. We talked for a while and he was deeply offended by what had happened. He convinced me not to try and remedy what had been said by both parties. They've a right to their opinions, even if I don't agree with them. Roeth is a good friend to the Bishop and I would hate to have damaged their friendship because of some callous words.

Just as well, the group that left to fight hasn't returned yet. They must have succeeded, but I pray the victory wasn't bought with the blood of my friends.

March Against the Dark

The Bishop, and many members of the Gauntlet have left to face off against whatever it is that's causing the unnatural darkness in the Eastern Plaguelands. They have not returned for a couple of days now and I'm growing worried. Even when they fought in the necropolis they would return so that I and others might heal them.

I've tried to keep myself busy. I must have swept the abbey out four times by now. I even worked my way up to the belfry to take care of the cobwebs. Even with all this work, it seems that I can't escape my worry. It's so quiet here without them, and I fear the worst. So I rooted out an old journal and I've started to write in it. Maybe seeing my worries on paper will help me move past them.

May the Light see them through their trial and safely back home.